Lacking of Hearts
by muertalas
Summary: Roxas knew what it was like to have a heart, though he'd never had the experience of actually having one. And so, he asks his Somebody the question everyone dreads. KH2. Songfic. Standalone.


The song belongs to Paramore and is entitled _That's What You Get_.

* * *

**Lacking of Hearts**

He was his other's ghost. He was the Nobody, while the other was the Somebody. There were general differences when one was nothing, after all, being a Nobody meant right off the bat that you had no heart; that you had no soul; that you _did not exist_. But he would have none of that. Even if one was not capable of honing emotions or would fade off into the abyss when defeated by the legendary weapon known only as "the Keyblade," _he_ was completely different.

His Somebody was still alive. He technically had a heart, which meant that he, the Nobody, also did in a sense.

"Roxas, you're still with me, right?"

He was almost caught off guard by the curious voice, but quickly regained his composure, nodding and smiling at his other. The spiky, brown-haired boy grinned at his personal specter and continued his stroll down the soft sand overlooking the ever-growing sapphire tide. Roxas enjoyed the ocean more than anything that he could ever come up with, and even if his somewhat hyperactive counterpart tagged along every time he wished to go down, – they had no choice in the matter regardless as they were glued together by their bond – his nonexistent heart would always swell when the flawlessness of the sea came into view.

"Hey Sora," Roxas stopped and let his bare, translucent feet become submerged in the small waves, "What's it like to have a heart?"

_No sir, well, I don't want to be the blame;_

_Not anymore._

Sora looked at his blonde-haired Nobody with confusion etched across his visage. He stuffed his hands into his shorts pockets and stood next to him, gazing out at the setting sun as it cast its bloodlust onto the islands and sent gentle shivers down Sora's vertebrate.

"It's… hard to explain," the tanned boy mumbled, "Why do you want to know anyway?"

Roxas shrugged his shoulders a tad as a response.

_It's your turn to take a seat._

_We're settling the final score._

_And why do we like to hurt so much?_

"Well," Sora leaned back a bit to stare up at the darkening sky, vaguely wondering if the moon would come out that night, "having a heart is kind of something that you would never think about unless you knew what it would be like if you lost it."

"You used to take having a heart for granted." It was not so much of a question as it was a statement.

Sora nodded. "It was just something that kept me from going to the darkness, y'know? Even if I didn't know anything about light and dark and Heartless and Nobodies, I just knew that it was there. And it was keeping me alive. You followin'?"

"No," said Roxas, feeling his calmness ebb away as his utterly clueless Somebody attempted to explain what having a soul was supposed to feel like. "No," he repeated, "I don't understand. I'm a _Nobody_, Sora. For God's sake, I don't have a heart, _you_ do, and all I'm asking is if you can explain it!" He turned and took a step, losing all comprehension as to what he was doing or even to what kind of false emotions were taking over his body. His face inches from Sora's, Roxas frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes in frustration.

_I can't decide,_

_You have made it harder just to go on._

_Why all the possibilities where I was wrong._

"I remember Xemnas telling us all that hearts made us both strong and weak. And I remember what I would sense whenever I looked at the sea or watched the sun go down or anything else that you and I both like, but that's all!" Roxas was losing his mind, wasn't he? "That's all I can hold onto: memories!"

Sora fell back and landed on his backside, wincing as the tiny rocks making up the beach clawed harshly into his legs and feet. The Nobody before him looked fit to attack, eyes burning with a mere ruse of anger, defiance, and sadness, fists clenched tightly. The fifteen-year-old Keyblade wielder had never seen the blonde act this way before, and to be quite honest, he was appalled.

"Memories are the best that I can do, Sora," Roxas bent down to get up close to his other once more, "Recollections are all I have to go by! They make me remember what it's like to have something beating in my chest!"

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

Sora's mouth had lost its hinges and was now hanging open in disbelief. Once Roxas had finished, panting heavily from the surge of rage that had overcome him, a silence befell them. The only sounds that cut through the tension were those of the waves and the pair's breathing.

Pushing all of his upper body weight onto his arms, Sora sat up, his nose nearly touching his Nobody's and smiled lightly. "But you _do_ have a heart, Roxas."

"Wha?"

_I drowned out all my senses_

_With the sound of this beating._

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

"You have a heart," Sora repeated, chuckling at the boy's bewilderment. "Wanna know why?"

Roxas knelt down onto his knees, the two barely aware of the tide rushing around them. Two azure eyes stared back at equally blue ones, widened in eager curiosity and silent forcefulness. Sora's grin only grew wider and wider with each passing moment, freezing sensations creeping up his arms and legs as the salt water cascaded around him. His Nobody was beginning to act like him.

_I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here?_

'_Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here._

_I still try holding onto silly things!_

_I never learned why, when all the possibilities, I'm sure you heard._

"C'mon, Sora!" urged the blonde, "Tell me!"

The boy giggled softly. "You've always had a heart, y'know that? You and Naminé are different from most Nobodies, and that's obvious in tons of ways but…" Sora paused, twirling a lock of hair around his index finger, "you have something that I doubt most other Nobodies have."

"And what's that?!" Roxas was practically shrieking with desperation now, something of which Sora had never seen nor heard from him beforehand.

The brunette grinned and pointed to himself. "Me."

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

_I drowned out all my senses_

_With the sound of this beating._

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

He was a ghost, and yet he was so stupid to forget such an obvious thing such as his counterpart; his other half; his equal. They were two sides of the same coin and he, Roxas, had allowed that fact to slip his mind.

So idiotic; so oblivious; so dense; so pathetic!

"I am your heart, Roxas," said Sora, now placing his finger at Roxas' chest, right where his imaginary soul would have been. "I thought you'd have known that by now."

Roxas pressed his own hand over his Somebody's, no longer conscious of anything but the soft beating that was beginning to pound within the cavern that he called a ribcage; a torso. His treasure had been robbed and replaced with something even greater: revelation. Warmth was spilling into the confines of the empty prison that had locked his spirit away as a prisoner and Roxas relished in the fact that his Somebody was the cause of it.

_They make you wait to me, to me,_

_And I'll always be just so inviting._

"You feel that?" asked Sora, pressing his ear onto his and the blonde's hand momentarily in order to listen to the beating. "You hear that? You always had a heart; you just had to find it."

Roxas only nodded, dumbfounded at the discovery. His tongue refused to form words to voice his disbelief; his sense of insanity at that particular moment. The teenager could merely close his eyes and focus on the drum of an internal organ; of his very essence throbbing weakly against his skeleton.

_If I ever start to think straight,_

_This heart started right in me._

_Let's start, hey!_

The two adolescents stayed in that position for quite some time, neither of them allowing the other to move in fear of ruining the moment that could possibly only occur once in a lifetime. It was peaceful for the first time in a long while. No Heartless, no Organization XII, no Nobody minions, no fighting…

Just Roxas and Sora and the oceanic horizon.

But the blonde couldn't help but notice that the palpitation was beginning to pain him. It was almost as if his system was rejecting the foreign entity. He ground his teeth a smidge, his fingers contracting and scratching the skin on Sora's hand.

"Are you alright, Roxas?"

"I-It hurts…"

_Why do we like to hurt so much?_

_Oh, why do we like to hurt so much?!_

Tears began to leak out of the crevices between his closed eyes without a word of consent. The Nobody's fake heart was growing increasingly agonizing with each second that it stayed locked in the cave he called a chest.

"Y-You didn't s-say anything about it h-hurting like t-t-this!" Roxas groaned.

Sora's face could be described with one, simple adjective: concerned. He retracted his hand and attempted to console his phantom, but to no avail. The bond had become stronger, so powerful in fact, that it was temporarily claiming control over Roxas and bringing with it, a fantastic aching. The waves crashed around them, dousing them in what felt like ice, and Sora could only shake his head in a frantic, soundless plea for forgiveness.

"I didn't know!"

"Liar!"

"I'm telling the truth, Roxas!"

"T-Then m-make it st-stop, Mister K-Keyblade M-Master!"

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

In an instant, Roxas shined a miraculously bright light, his aura completely colorless. His spine curved backward nearly to the point that it looked as if it would snap, his torso glowing crimson as if the plasma coursing through the boy's translucent veins had run forth to gather around the false heart. His body was fighting back.

And despite the reality that a war was being waged inside of him, Roxas wished for nothing more than to plunge his hand into his own body and drag the time bomb that was exploding and destroying everything that was making him exist out of a bloody mass of skin, muscle, and bone.

"M-Make it s-stop, Sora..." cried Roxas feebly, "P-Please!"

Sora grabbed his Nobody's shoulders tightly, relinquishing the hold that his spirit had had on the blonde. Sinking into his touch, Roxas collapsed exhaustedly and unconsciously onto the Keyblade wielder. Sora, engrossed with guilt in thinking that _he_ caused such an _atrocious_ thing to happen to a friend; to his counterpart for God's sake, let a few tears fall down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, "I'm so, so sorry, Roxas…"

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_

"'S okay…" was the reply that graced the teen's ears.

Looking downwards, Sora saw the tired gaze of his Nobody, a miniscule grin on his paled face. And in naught but a moment, Sora's entire quintessence burst with relief.

"Ya din't know 'hat would 'appen," Roxas whispered gruffly, coughing as he tried to sit back up, only to blatantly fail. Sora, instead, helped him and chuckled at the childlike behavior the blonde emanated as he brought his knees up to his chest in what looked like a defensive pose. "No need to 'pologize."

_That's what you get when you let your heart win!_

Sora grinned and stood, now eerily alert of how wet he was. Offering a hand to his ghost; his Nobody; his peer, the spiky haired boy noticed that same white gleam appear around their entwined hands when the two touched.

Had the connection between the Nobody and the Somebody become more pronounced than before?

_I can't trust myself with anything but this._

_And that's what you get when you let your heart win!_

_Whoa…!_


End file.
